From: "Dr. D. Kossove" <doctordee@telkomsa.net>
To: <Ropeipert@aol.com>
Subject: !coping
Date: Wednesday, December 10, 2003 10:38 AM

And permission for publishing this one anonymously, too?
doreen


Date:    Tue, 9 Dec 2003 10:27:42 EST
From:    Rosalie Peipert <Ropeipert@AOL.COM>
Subject: Coping

Dear Listmates, I learned coping skills when I had my first recurrence 11
years ago. After my first bilateral clamshell thoracotomy, I found it hard to
cope with myself and everyone surrounding me.  When I healed sufficiently enough
to get around, I joined a gyn support group at the Cancer Institute of
Brooklyn where I lived then. The therapist was excellent and we learned from each
other how to cope. The therapist gave us good ideas. It was up to us to use them.

I found my own way to cope through her suggestions and the others way of
coping. I got new ideas. I used them to benefit me. I got through the hard time
and then I kept getting more recurrences. I felt if I got through the first
tough one, I could get through the next one.
That is the story of my life, coping for 11 years this month of being stage
IV. Never give up, never give in, assert yourself, don't do anything you do not
want to do. Listen to relaxation tapes, meditation tapes, self hypnosis
tapes, do simple exercises, walk, read, distract yourself and do only what you can
while recuperating. It doesn't help to overdo, it sets you back. Set limits
for yourself. Cope with your emotions, don't bury them inside.  You will
survive!

                                                           Keep telling
yourself that this too shall pass. You will get stronger. You may not be the same
as you were, but you are here and that is what counts. You do all you can to
make your burden easier when times are hard. Busy hands keeps minds busy. I find
it hard to do things today that I used to be able to do a few years ago. But
I try, nobody can do more than that. I do not like to hear people say we have
to have positive thinking. Sometimes that is hard to do. It is all a matter of
learning to cope and live with what you have.  I know that my sons are grown
and have families of their own but I know they take better care of themselves
because I am their role model. They never neglect anything to do with health
concerns. I know they will be strong if and when the time comes. I think the
older they get the more they realize what I have been through. It wasn't like
that when they were younger.
Experience comes with age. I think they know now life is not easy with LMS or
ESS and one recurrence after the other. It has finally drawn us closer
together as a family. I let them know  about everything but I do not want or ask
their opinions.  We will all get through this together. I had no support group to
turn to 11 years ago when I had a recurrence. Today is the age of the
computer. I learned everything from you too!
Rosalie (NJ)
22 yr. survivor, stage IV for 11 yrs, stable with lung mets for 2 yrs 10 mos
taking aromatase inhibitor, Letrozole, progesterone positive
 